The Best Meat of All
by jadephantom101
Summary: Zuko tries to get Aang to eat meat to improve his fire-bending...the hard, kinky way. Will he succeed? slightly girly!Aang, ZUKAANG ultra lulz


Title: The Best Meat of All...

By: jadephantom101 (aka. fatstalkerman)

Summary: Zuko tries to get Aang to eat meat to improve his fire bending…the hard, kinky way. Will he succeed? ZUKAANG ULTRA LULZ, girly!Aang, slightly OOC

Setting: Set in the Western Air Temple sometime after the events of the The Firebending Masters.

Author's Note: I got this idea right after eating barbeque chicken for dinner today. I don't know why the hell I thought of _Zukaang_ after eating _barbeque chicken_ of all things. I was contentedly chewing when suddenly this wonderful yet totally insane plot idea with Zukaang formulated in my head. I felt like cackling at the time but I didn't b/c my family would think I was weird(well, weirder then normal).

Oh yea, I also partially got the idea from the hilarious "Bad fanfiction" cosplay skit on you tube with Zuko and Aang. I was about to put the same ending in my story but then switched it last minute. xD

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**/CHAPTER 1/**

"Aang…" Zuko growled in annoyance.

"Zuko, I already told you before! "There is no way in spirits name that I am eating that..that _thing_!" Aang said, glaring in disgust at the slab of freshly-cooked meat Zuko was currently dangling in front of him. It went quiet, as suddenly the whole gang had stopped what they were doing to watch the Fire Prince and Avatar's little exchange of banter.

Zuko sighed. "If you want to become a stronger fire bender, you're going to _have_ to have some protein in you. That's just the way it works."

"I'm _not_ eating it." Aang replied, mulishly crossing his arms.

"But you _have_ to." Zuko said, massaging his upper nose ridge in irritation. "Besides, you're so damn _skinny_, I can pick you up with one hand, it's plain pathetic! You need to grow some muscle(_and some balls_, Zuko added silently to himself)."

Aang frowned. "But the monks have a strict policy of not eating meat. It's wrong to kill any creature with a soul."

Zuko looked angry. "Does that count the Firelord because I don't think my father even _has_ a soul!" he said, laughing bitterly. "Times have changed and your precious monks aren't here anymore! Why don't you stop following rules hundreds of years old and focus on what's important! The most powerful fire bender on Earth is still at large and _you_ have to be the one to kill him! Ancient air nomad philosophies aren't going to help defeat the Firelord so you so you might as well throw them away and forget about them!"

Aang almost looked like he was about to cry right then and there.

Zuko instantly regretted saying that and sighed. "Look, I'm sorry, ok? I didn't mean it like that."

Silence.

"Here, show me your fire." Zuko ordered.

"Huh? My…fire?" Aang asked, thoroughly confused.

"Let me hear the biggest, baddest, _loudest_ roar you can possibly make."

"Oh…ok."

All eyes were turned on Aang now. Nervously, he took a deep breath, swiftly spread his arms out, and roared the "biggest, baddest, _loudest"_ roar he ever made.

Unfortunately for him, it sounded more like the cry of a dying animal than an actual roar.

But Aang didn't know this and looked up proudly at his sifu, his eyes full of anticipation.

Zuko just slapped his forehead in defeat and sighed.

Suddenly, something in the short-tempered fire Prince snapped. Zuko was a man of action, not of words! He'd had enough of the little air bender's refusal to comply with _his_ orders! If he wouldn't eat meat, he would _**make**_ him eat meat. T_he hard way._

Without warning, Zuko made a grab for Aang's tunic and tried to shove the hot piece of meat into his mouth. Aang dodged him on reflex, alarmed. But Zuko ran right on hurling the piece of meat at him. He managed to knock the nimble air-bender off balance, looming above him with a dangerous predatory look. Aang yelped, scuttling towards the inside of the temple with Zuko hot on his heels. They two disappeared from sight.

Katara stood up, thoroughly alarmed by now. She debated whether or not she should run after the two and try and stop Zuko. But it wasn't like he was trying to hurt Aang with fire bending or anything. He was just trying to shove a hot piece of meat up Aang's….mouth.

_/Wait…what the __**hell **__did I just say…?!/ _Katara thought, horrified_. /Oh my god, craaaaap! Bad thoughts, bad thoughts, bad thoughts!/ _The flushed water bender scrunched her face up in embarrassment as not-quite-so-YTV7-appropriate images flashed by in her mind.

And she was supposed to be the mature one in the group…

Meanwhile, Zuko was still pursuing Aang in the temple halls. Aang dashed into the nearest room he could find in the hopes that he could escape to the forest with his glider. Unfortunately for him, the room he ran into was completely bereft of any windows.

_Just my luck. _Aang thought desolately.

The son of the Firelord entered the room and smirked as he eyed his prey backing into the wall, his wide, storm-grey eyes glazed over with panic. He was cornered.

Zuko didn't quite know why but he sort of…_enjoyed _the rush of power and the feeling of complete dominance over the so-called all-mighty Avatar. It was strangely...exhilarating.

But he had a job to do. He quickly closed the distance between them, blocking any chance of escape. Desperately, Aang attempted a last-ditch effort to evade the older teen by scampering under the fire bender's legs. But Zuko, who practically knew all of the smaller boy's tactics by heart, roughly grabbed the back of his tunic before he did. Aang gave a startled yelp as he was brusquely picked up. The meat was forcibly thrust at him.

But right before the moment of contact, his Avatar state suddenly activated and he released a powerful burst of energy, sending Zuko hurtling in the opposite direction. Zuko crashed into the wall with a loud 'oomph'. Stunned, he looked back at Aang, whose arrows were fully aglow by now; the surreal, almost godly power of the Avatar radiated pure energy off of his body. His intense, gleaming white eyes glared daggers at the fire Prince with a bottomless loathing.

_Fuck. _

That was all Zuko could think of as the next second, a violent gust of air quite literally swept him off his feet. He crashed through the ceiling and with a terrified scream, soared hundreds of meters into the sky until he almost disappeared from sight(AN: this would be usually the part in where the antagonist yells "Looks like Prince Zuko's blasting off agaaaaain!"{not really})

Debris was scattered everywhere. Aang's glow faded as he suddenly realized what he had done.

"ZUKO!" Aang shouted in horror, rushing out of the large whole in the ceiling on his glider.

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Aang sprinted as quickly as he could through the never-ending paths of the forest to where he thought he had seen Zuko land. After searching for what seemed like hours, he shoved a tree branch out of his way and happened upon a small clearing. There, he saw Zuko's limp body spread eagle-style on the ground, seemingly motionless.

"Oh my God! Zuko!" Aang shouted as he dropped his staff and ran over to the unmoving figure on the ground. "ZUKO!" No response.

"Zuko! You idiot! Wake up!!" Aang pulled him up by his collar and slapped him on the cheek. No response. Aang stared at him for a few seconds in shock. Zuko's body hung lifelessly from his hands. Fearing the worst, he started sobbing dramatically and shook Zuko's limp form back and forth angrily. "Zuko, you _idiot_! Don't leave me here! I still need you to teach me fire bending! Where the hec am I gonna get another teacher?!"

Still no response.

"No…" Aang said, staring in horror at the fire Prince's limp form. "I…I killed him!…I…I fuckin _killed _the guy!" Aang stated despairingly, tears starting to form in his eyes.

Just when Aang was about to accept this horrific conclusion, Zuko, quick as a cat, seized Aang's head, locked his lips with that of the young air-bender, and pulled him in for a deep kiss, holding him tightly. Aang, too shocked to respond, felt Zuko's tongue slide into his mouth, slipping the small piece of meat into it. _Damn._

He didn't know why but it kinda felt…nice. Aang didn't pull away. In fact, he didn't really _want_ to pull away, as he tasted the sweet, juicy piece of meat and breathed in the hot scent that was Zuko.

They stayed like that for what seemed like hours but was only a minute before Zuko pulled away. An uncharacteristic smirk played on the fire Prince's features as he looked at the stunned air-bender in triumph. Aang just stood there in shock. His face slowly darkened until it become a deep tomato red. Zuko's smirk just grew wider at this.

Unfortunately, it was then that a certain Earth-bender broke the trance-like atmosphere.

"Well, well, well, the Avatar the Fire Prince. Who would've thought?" Toph mused out loud, crossing her arms smugly with an all-knowing look.

**/END!/**

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AN: Thanks for reading! Feel free to comment if you'd like. If you're too shocked to do anything at all, I suggest you click the back button…like you should have done a while ago :P

Someone once told me that making out with the Avatar was like making out with Jesus…I just replied, hellz _yes_, that makes it all the more kinkier! ;D And who _doesn't_ wanna make out with Jesus?! =D


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